Preparing Your Pet For
Baby’s Arrival
Helping your pet adjust to the
arrival of a new baby is much like preparing a young child for the same event.
Handling your pet’s curiosity, anxiety and increased insistence for attention
may seem like an overwhelming task, in addition to preparing yourself and your
household for the baby’s arrival. You can, however, help your pet adjust to the
big changes ahead with minimal time and effort by making gradual adjustments to
your lifestyle before the baby arrives.
Sounds
And Smells
Your pet is very sensitive to sounds and smells and uses these
special abilities to gather information. From your pet’s point of view, you and
your home have specific identifying smells that are uniquely yours. There are
also certain sounds that your pet considers "normal" for your
household. Even the different tones of voice you use send important signals.
Your baby won't actually change those scents and sounds that are part of your
identity, but the baby’s arrival will certainly add some new and very different
ones. It’s important that you introduce these new smells and sounds to your pet
gradually in a calm and pleasant atmosphere.
Each time you introduce something new to your pet, make the experience positive. Stroke
him, give him treats and praise him for his good behavior
when he’s faced with a strange new sound or smell. Relax! If you act anxious,
your pet will be anxious too.
Pets tend to feel alarmed and defensive when faced with unexpected
sounds. Take a little time to become familiar with the "normal"
sounds of your household. Is your home normally quiet, with little background
noise? If so, how does your pet react to "extra" sounds like a vacuum
cleaner, a ringing telephone or a whistling teakettle? If your home is normally
noisy, your pet may simply sleep through the usual sounds, but how does he
react when something unusual occurs? The more strongly your pet reacts to
unexpected sounds, the more important it is for you to help him adjust to the
"baby sounds" which will become a regular part of your home
environment.
Try to recognize what smells are prominent in your home, including
your own personal scent. Your home has its own mixture of smells that makes it
feel familiar and safe - cleaning products, kitchen odors,
even dust. Also be aware of the products you use that help create your own
individual scent, such as soaps, hair care products, toothpaste, deodorant,
laundry detergent and cologne. Any new smells should be added gradually,
layered on over a period of weeks. Be aware of the effect these changes have on
your pet. While you do this, try to keep one part of your home smelling
"right" for your pet.
In order to prepare your pet for the new baby, borrow some baby
sounds and smells. Visit a friend's baby or a nursery and make a tape recording
of baby sounds like gurgling, laughing, screaming, crying and kicking. Handle a
baby and absorb some of the smells of baby lotion, powder and food. Go directly
home and spend some positive, relaxed time with your pet. Give him a massage or
play with him while the baby smells mingle with your own odors
and you introduce the recorded baby sounds.
Start out with the volume turned fairly low and if your pet doesn't
react strongly to the sounds, gradually increase the volume to a normal level.
As you play the tape, look at your pet and speak calmly, using your pet's name.
Smile! It adds a special tone to your voice that helps your pet relax. Repeat
these sessions daily until the baby's arrival. After a week or so, add the
actual sources of the odors to the sound-and-smell
sessions with the supplies you’ll be using for your own baby. Think about your
pet's perspective. How does a baby bottle smell when it's freshly sterilized?
When it's dirty? Borrow a dirty diaper and let your pet become accustomed to
that smell, too.
Borrow a baby! After a few weeks, combine baby sounds and smells
(which should be familiar to your pet by now) with the bustle and attention of
a visiting baby. This is an excellent "dress rehearsal" for the extra
visitors and attention you and your baby will receive
during the first few weeks after delivery.
After you bring your baby home, be aware of the ways you use your
voice. Do you only speak to your pet with negative tones when the baby’s in the
room ("no," "off," "don't," "stop")? If
so, your pet will certainly connect unhappy feelings with the baby's presence.
While you hold your baby, smile at your pet and use his name. Give your pet a
small treat when the baby is fed to distract your pet from the smell of the
baby's food. Make time with the baby a pleasant time for your pet as well.
Environment
If you’ll be redecorating or rearranging your home, do it long
before the baby arrives. With your supervision, let your pet explore any
off-limits areas, then exclude him from these areas
before the baby arrives. Screen doors are excellent, inexpensive barriers for
off-limits areas like the baby's room. Your pet can still see, smell and hear
all the action and so can you. If an off-limits room has been a favorite area for your pet, this will be a major change for
him. Move his favorite things from that room into
another area, if possible in the same arrangement.
To boost your pet’s confidence, establish a private, comfortable
place that your pet can use as a safe retreat. Select an area you can close
off, if necessary. The "safe-zone" should include a water bowl, a
nest composed of a soft towel or your pet’s bed and some worn, unwashed
clothing with your smell on it. If your pet is a cat, you should include a
litter box in this area also.
Your pet can choose to retreat here, or you can choose to confine
him to this "safe zone" when things get extra hectic. Spend some
positive time with your pet in this area every day, and if he must be confined
for an hour or so, it mustn't seem like punishment. During the transition,
respect your pet’s need for rest and privacy. This will become especially
important when your baby reaches the crawling stage. In addition to a
"safe-zone," cats should also have access to plenty of escape routes,
hiding places and perches.
Routine
Routine is important to pets because they need to know what to
expect. Think ahead and gradually begin establishing new routines early on.
Include in your adjusted schedule at least once a day, quality time for just
you and your pet, with no competition for your attention. This
"non-baby" time is very important for your pet and for you!
Some of the changes in your post-baby routine won't be permanent,
like getting up at all hours of the night. Help your pet handle temporary
schedule adjustments by ignoring any extra attention-getting ploys used at
those times. Try to get back to your normal routines as soon as possible.
Social
Order
The first priority for an animal faced with a new family member is
to determine who will be top dog (or cat) in the relationship. Dogs and cats
live by an unwritten code of ranking in their relationships. For most dogs and
cats, it isn't really important which one comes out on top, only that the rank
be decided.
Whether you have one pet or several, your own position in the
family's social order should be clear - you must always be the top-ranking
animal in your family. This will be especially important as your baby's arrival
approaches. When your position as leader of the family is secure and it’s clear
that the baby belongs to you, your pet should not challenge the baby's
important rank in your home.
If your pet is very protective of you or your home, is a little
pushy about food and toys, has been known to behave aggressively toward other
animals and/or challenges your rank as leader, then you probably have a
dominant pet (see our handout "Dealing with Dominance in Dogs"). In this situation, it’s especially important that family
rank and household rules be firmly established before your baby's arrival. You
may need to seek the help of an animal behavior
specialist.
Reinforce house rules and manners to remind your pet that you are
the leader in your family (see our handout "Nothing in Life Is Free"). If your pet hasn't learned basic manners or obedience
commands, now is the time to start. Train your dog to sit and lie down on
command. This physical control will be especially important when your arms are
filled with your baby and various baby paraphernalia.
Be sure that your pet understands when (if ever) jumping onto
people or things is appropriate. If cats have always had access to any surface
in your home (counters, tables and so forth) you need to decide which places
will be off-limits after the baby's arrival. Start
training your pet now to discourage him from jumping onto those places. Be
considerate, though, and be sure to allow your cat access to some high-up
places in your home. Dogs should only be allowed to jump when specific
permission is given.
If your pet likes to spend time in your lap, teach him to ask
permission before jumping up. You don't have to eliminate lap-time completely,
just limit access to those times when you can give him your full attention and
an entire lap. Teach your pet that your voice, your look and your presence are
also positive forms of attention -- that you don't
always need to touch him to show affection. You can do this simply by talking
calmly and pleasantly to your pet as he lies or sits nicely at your feet. Use
his name, smile and make eye contact with him.
Insist on good manners from the beginning. Don't accept any
whining, growling or pushy behavior in an attempt to
gain attention. Give your pet plenty of time and attention whenever you can,
but not when he’s demanded it!
Plan short periods of play time, treat time and snuggle time with
your pet - with and without your baby in the room. Meals should be eaten in the
same room and at the same time whenever possible.
Whenever anything inappropriate is in your pet's mouth, offer him a
treat in trade for the object, say "drop it" and when he takes the
treat praise him enthusiastically and offer him a toy that he’s allowed to
have. As a "rule of thumb," if you don't want it in your pet’s mouth, don't leave it on the floor.
Encourage a positive relationship between your baby and your
"furry child" by involving them in activities you can all enjoy.
Settle into your favorite chair by a sunny window,
with your baby in your lap and your cat on a table beside you, so you can
stroke them both at the same time! Walk with your baby in a stroller and your
dog on leash, just like you did before the baby came, but with this nice
addition. Share mealtimes, and when your baby gets a treat or a toy, be sure your pet has something nice to hold, too.
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